william_kent | Sharing secrets with Mom

William is fourteen when he finally realizes something is different. He's always known that he's different because of needing blood, like his mother does, and the alien aspects he gets from his father, but this is something else.

He returns from school, quiet as usual, but hoping that his siblings aren't around so he can talk to Mom alone.

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From:

slayers_desire

"I can't imagine how difficult that is. Sitting so close. Smelling him everyday." April only saw Clark randomly after they first met.

"How long have you had the urges?"

From:

william_kent

"I don't know. A couple of weeks. I didn't know what it was at first." He's always gotten his blood in his food, or drink, never from a living creature. Especially not a person. And when he realized that was what he was feeling, he was initially horrified. What kind of monster would want to bite another person? Especially one that they like?

But... knowing that it isn't quite that way, that it's not a bad thing, that makes things a little different.

From:

slayers_desire

"You have never feed off a person before." April has sheltered him from that experience.

"You know how you feel when you drink blood... that elation. That fullfillment. How good it feels?"

"It becomes a hundred times better getting it fresh. And the thing you must understand William..." April gently touches his hand. A little nervous about telling him about this. "It is a sensual feeling. One that can make you lose control."

From:

william_kent

That scares him a bit. "I don't want to kill anyone."

From:

slayers_desire

"You can gain control. You can take without killing."

"I have."

From:

william_kent

"But what if I can't?" William bites his lip for a moment, not quite hard enough to draw blood. "And what if... he thinks I'm a freak? He'd never want to let me." He doesn't know that for sure, but he imagines most people would be wary about it.

From:

slayers_desire

"That is going to be difficult William. I am not going to lie to you... I was so worried about Clark accepting my nature."

"Does he like you? Let's start there..."

From:

william_kent

"I... we're friends? I mean we hang out a lot, but we've never... I didn't want to say anything." He's found it so hard to make friends, and it scares him to think he might lose one if he confessed how he feels and was rejected. Things would never be the same.

And... "I've kind of been... avoiding hanging out with him. Since I started wanting to bite him." It sounds so weird to even be saying that.

From:

slayers_desire

"He must wonder why you are avoiding him now." April doesn't blame William for taking this route. Protecting himself.

"We could train in the vampireworld. They could help you."

From:

william_kent

"I know." And it hurts to see the look on his friend's face when William passes by without saying more than hello, but he's just so scared about how he might react. Times have changed from how they used to be, but there are still plenty of people around who still cling to the old attitudes about sexuality.

"You think they'd want to?"

From:

slayers_desire

April can almost picture that hurt look that William thinks about. And it pains her to know her son is so scared.

Scared to be himself.

"Of course they would want to."

From:

william_kent

"Even though I'm... even though I don't feel that way about girls?"

From:

slayers_desire

"William. They won't care. Your grandfather..." April smiled softly. "Had a love-hate relationship with his GrandSire, Angel."

"Jamie. Justine. Mykal. Sophie. Shasta. None of them will judge you on who you like."

From:

william_kent

"What if Derek does?" he asks, naming his friend for the first time.

From:

slayers_desire

"If Derek judges you... then he is not the one William." April really hopes that he avoids heartbreak. But knows that she can't control such things.

From:

william_kent

William's too young to know what love really is, whether this is just teenage infatuation as his hormones wake up, or if it's something more real. But of course he doesn't know that. "I'm scared to tell him."

From:

slayers_desire

"No one is going to force you to tell him anything William." April has always allowed her children to make decisions for themselves. When to tell someone about their abilities. Their heritage.

"But you are not alone. Not anymore."

From:

william_kent

He looks down a little, then back up at her. "I know. Thanks, Mom." He appreciates having her to talk to, even as he's scared of baring his heart to someone else.

From:

slayers_desire

"And until you are ready, we will visit the vampireworld and you can learn about feeding off something living."

"Animals at first."

"But the other vampires there... won't mind if you want to bite any of them."

From:

william_kent

It sounds reasonable enough, but... "I don't know if I'll want to." Biting other people seems like... kissing someone else. It wouldn't be Derek.

From:

slayers_desire

"When you like someone, all you want is them." April understood his hesitation. When she hungered for real blood, she always wanted Clark's over anyone elses. It was hers.

"But we can still train using animals. Learning control now would be a good thing. Especially if Derek is human."

From:

william_kent

"Okay." It still seems weird to be biting animals instead of drinking blood from a glass like he normally does, but it has a good reason, and he supposes that's good enough. The other vampires will understand.

From:

slayers_desire

"They have a hunt every year in the vampirevillage. Your grandfather would be proud if you joined them this year."

From:

william_kent

He's a little unsure about the idea, because he doesn't know how he feels about killing even when it's animals, but he knows fully well where meat comes from and something about the idea speaks to his vampire side. "...I could do that."